Smile!

Here’s something I was thinking about this morning. I was looking at family pictures and there’s this one of my cousin’s kid, where he’s like 2 or 3--a toddler--and you can tell it’s a professional picture because of the quality and edit. He’s on this jungle gym, swing-set thing, and he’s looking up at the camera like he doesn’t really know what’s going on. It’s just a really puzzled, curious sort of look. It’s obviously very cute, which is why the photo was sent to us, and I hadn’t thought about it until just this morning, but it looks so performative. It’s like my cousin said, “Just swing on the swing-set, buddy. Look at the camera and swing. Look up here! Smile!”

Like mama gave too many commands for his little toddler mind to process. And it hit me.

Dammit if social media hasn’t turned every child into a child-star and every parent into a Hollywood producer. Right? Maybe I’m reading into the whole thing a bit too much. But the performative aspect of the photo was palpable, in a moment. It was something tangible I could feel.

I’m thinking of the ‘Lindsay Lohan’ effect, a little Disney star growing up under the big lights, and then, when he or she gets a little older, they’re sexualized or they’re patronized, they’re used for money, they lose touch with their parents who are now more manager than mom or dad, and then they flame out on all kinds of drugs and stuff...

Through social media, we’re forcing our kids to perform for us on a near-constant basis--to play these little avatars of their own identities online. “Jalen is a real slugger. Jalen: Hold the bat up! Hold the bat for mama! Swing it! Swing it, Jalen! Swing the bat like you’re playing baseball! Jalen! Look at mama! Smile! Jesus, Jalen, come on, what’s that stain on your ball jersey? Jalen! JALEN!”

No wonder we’re seeing an epidemic of adolescent depression and suicide.