The armor of God
I’m not an expert at much of anything. I used to know where all the hot spots were, in town. I don’t anymore. I used to have Big Ideas about all kinds of stuff... I don’t anymore. I used to have a vision and goals and a 10 Year Plan, and I knew what I was going to make of my life, and I had it all figured out--heck, I even had the dream fully financed (full-ride scholarship)--until I didn’t. Until it wasn’t. Until we couldn’t. Until it hadn’t. Until they did this, and I did that, and she did this, and he did that, and they were this way and then that happened, and it was all so... yeah.
Isn’t that how life goes? It’s how a fight goes. “What was your game-plan in camp, leading up to the championship?” Well, we knew he was an awesome grappler, so I worked on shooting the take-down. His striking is second to none, so I worked on my speed and defense, I worked hard to not telegraph my counter-strike or leave myself open. He’s got first-rate cardio, so I got on the exercise bike every day. I worked on stamina. Going into the fight, we knew he was going to shift his stances up, so I sparred with everyone I could think of. We’ve been working on clock management, on my breathing, on settling into the fight.
It goes like that, until it doesn’t. Who was it that said, “Everyone has a plan until they’re punched in the mouth?” Or, as Jocko says so often, “No plan survives first contact with the enemy.”
I had a plan for my life. I was an expert at being me. Then I met the Enemy, and I got punched in the mouth. I got rocked. Lights out, nobody home, first five seconds of the first round. And I never really got back up. I had been in college for three years when I was falsely accused. Hear me: I did a lot, I was a truly horrible person, but I did NOT do what they said I did. I would have copped to it. My back was to the wall. I had nowhere to run. I promise you, I would’ve copped to it. They stripped me of my scholarships, I was fired from my job on-campus, all of my friends abandoned me, I started getting snubbed by professors, I didn’t have a place to live anymore and I was terrified. I was terrified. After I left, and going on years and years and years after I left, they consistently found me on social media and harassed me. I moved to a new city; they called employers and messaged girlfriends about me. This went on for almost a decade after college.
One day I’ll talk more openly about the circumstances of all of this. One day. For now, just know that I didn’t survive it, I won’t survive it, it left me a ghost of my former self and it put me in a place where I can no longer plan ahead, no longer look to the future, or dream; I can no longer see a future for myself.
Stripped of everything, what would you do? Back’s to the wall. Enemy has you on the ropes. You’re being beat like a drum. What would you do? I can’t say I responded like a saint. Actually, quite the opposite. I let the bitterness take what was left after the locusts had eaten. I carried a chip on my shoulder. I drank. I abused drugs. I sought escape elsewhere--tried to kill myself twice. Each time, I would wake up still regretfully alive and still wholly disappointed with it.
Guard yourselves. The flaming darts of the Enemy are already airborne. Do you have your armor on? Where’s your helmet? Is your mind fortified by the knowledge of salvation? Raise your shield of faith; raise your faith. Tell me: Are your feet in a readied stance? And your breastplate of righteousness--is it guarding your heart? or have your sins left you exposed? What lies are you telling yourself? or is truth like a belt for you?
Those are your defenses: Knowledge, salvation, faith, readiness, goodness, honesty.
But we have an offensive weapon as well. Perhaps, the most offensive weapon. The word of God is a two-edged sword! The gospel is an offense to all who are destined to deny it, as Peter said. Are you keeping your sword sharp? Are you preaching the Good News to yourself?
I’ll ask that again. Are you rehearsing the gospel?
When the Enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, will you be ready?
I wasn’t.